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Mayor Townsend Addresses Homeless Problem in Puddlegulch

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“Puddlegulch has struggled with a homeless problem for months,” said Mayor Townsend after a closed meeting with several council members on Thursday.  “Our homeless, Paul “Bobcat” Palmer, has been living in a tent in Nathaniel’s Field, a green space on the east end of town, since last July.  He has been a nuisance to many Puddlegulchians and we plan to do something about it.”

Townsend says that he is responding to anonymous complaints about Bobcat’s possum trapping activities.  He has been trapping possum for the Whispering Possum Inn for years, even before he became homeless.

“Bobcat has been a great resource for us,” said Denise Caldwell, proprietor of the inn. “He has a real knack for finding quality possum meat for our renowned sixpie.  Helps us with computer issues as well.”

We asked Floyd Feltcher, owner of Feltcher’s Butcher Shop how he felt about his competition.  He said, “I have nothing but respect for Bobcat.  Does fine work.  In fact, I’ve offered to hire him, but he has refused.  Says he works best alone.” read more

Fire Talk – with Chief Brandbil: The Little Engine that Couldn’t

Hey there Puddlegulchers, Fire Chief Red Brandbil here to bring you the big update from your local boys in the red helmets.

2020 is off and running, and everyone seems to be talking about what can be seen. Well, the only thing I see right now is a vision of Puddlegulch’s new fire engine! read more

Mysterious Stranger Spotted Again!

mysterious stranger

At 11:55 pm last night, a local teen was “fooling around with the filters on her phone camera” and snapped this image in the alley behind the Bowlarama.  [Note from writer: My pencil broke before I was about to speak to her, but I believe I understand teens well enough to remember it just as it was relayed to me.] read more

Possum Could Be Playing Possum

  A possum has been lying at the corner of Elm Street and Maple Drive for three consecutive days.  No one has been prepared to approach the area around the creature for fear of disturbing it in case he’s just pretending or taking an extended nap. read more

New Copy Editor

Kaylie Pham, Copy Editor

The Puddlegulch Post would like to introduce our newest staff member Kaylie Pham.  Not only will she raise the quality of writing hear at The Puddlegulch Post, she will raise the percentage of minority and attractiveness of our staff and community. read more

Self-proclaimed neighborhood “sheriff” arrested

Bob Feltcher was arrested this week for drunk and disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, and disturbing the peace during a town council meeting.

Complaints of his unauthorized supervision of Puddlegulch residents have been brought to the council for years, but the council has dismissed the complaints with the philosophy of “what harm is he doing anyone?” as Councilman Joe Grouse had said at a July 2014 council meeting. read more

Don’t leave Perry the Possum out in the Cold

As the temperatures drop, the night air can be harmful or even deadly for our town’s beloved mascot: the possum. You may find them in your garage trying to find enough warmth to survive. We at The Puddlegulch Post encourage you not to put the poor creature out in the cold; bring them into your house to sleep in your bed. read more

Local “pastors” caught in web of disguise and deceit

Pastors Titweiler, Stitt, and Lowry

Reverend Robert Titweiler (aka Reverend Bob Stitt, aka Reverend Rob Lowry) was arrested during an ecumenical Not-Celebrating-Christmas Bean Dinner with Puddlegulch Church of Christ, Possum Hill Church of Christ, and THE Church of Christ of Puddlegulch read more

Local Celebrity Author Surprises Puddlegulch with New Book

Colt Hardcastle

Chuck Hassler, author of the thrilling 1978 debut western novel  “Colt Hardcastle & The Persimmon Hill Posse,” announced yesterday that he will be publishing a long-awaited second book. read more

Feltcher Brother Makes Meaty Statement

Floyd Feltcher, proprietor of Feltcher’s Butcher Shop on Main Street, made a statement Friday in response to repeated queries concerning the dramatic presentation from his brother Bob Feltcher and his subsequent arrest last week during a Town council meeting.  Floyd Feltcher, a lifelong resident of Puddlegulch in good standing with the community at large, made the statement behind his counter while wrapping a pork loin for Edna Mersaphat, a regular customer of the shop. read more

Full Wolf Moon Eclipse Tonight in the Puddlegulch Sky

The Possum Moon

The first Full Moon of the year is named after howling wolves. In some cultures, it was known as Old Moon, Ice Moon, Snow Moon, and the Moon after Yule.
Many Native tribes called January’s full moon the Wolf Moon because of the greater hunger of the mighty wolves in the deep cold of winter.  Their howling is both chilling and greatly beneficial to one’s spiritual health.  It is also known to locals as the Possum Moon for all of the possums eaten by the wolves under its gentle light. read more

Rival Rings Out the Old

The Fighting Possums’ hopes for a historic basketball season were dashed when their star center, Rowdy Wilson, was declared ineligible for competition. Cross-county rival, Barnwood High, sparked an investigation by the State Secondary School Athletic Association earlier in the season. At issue is the interpretation of the age limit rule, which says that any student who is 21 is ineligible for competition. read more

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