Possum pride shines at the Thanksgiving Parade

Bonita Mae Hogwallop, Society Columnist – Puddlegulch should be mighty proud of their annual organized constitutional down Main Street this Thanksgiving Day.  The entire experience reeked of Possum Pride and Pomp.

Leading the way was the Pride of Puddlegulch High, the Marching Possums Band.  It seems this year they were able to find a trumpet or two and we could actually tell what song they were playing.  Last year the 12 tuba line was awe inspiring but the Holiday Spirit seemed to get lost in the Oom Pa Pas.  Taking on the task of drum major pro tem was our very own mascot, Perry the Possum.  Besides the fact that he played dead forcing the band to go around him, he did very well on his maiden voyage.  I’m sure you all remember the band’s regular drum major, Tina Scroggins, was injured earlier in the week by that flukish, flying bowling ball.  Where did that come from, anyway?

 Next we were able to to take a gander at our Thanksgiving Day balloons, the Possum and the Turkey, and their wranglers.  I know some are disappointed that the balloons are only a 20th of the size of those in New York and that there are only two of them.  But we have to remember that they were designed by the original Mr. Macy’s grandson’s, uncle’s roommate, Doug Mersaphat.  We must hold our heads high at tradition like that.

The only kerfuffle at the whole event was the moment when the Turkey balloon was unleashed by a sudden gust of wind.  Within seconds that Turkey was flying high and we could see our wonderful helium masterpiece disappearing into the wide blue yonder.  It was then that Earl Musgrave with the Civil War Renactment group drew his AR 15 and shot it down.  Luckily only a couple of rounds hit the balloon and I’ve heard it should be able to be repaired by next year.

The winning entry was Joe Whistler and his dancing Possum Poodles though they did get in a tussle with the Coyotes of King’s Valley Chapel, the float ahead of them from Standing Rock.   Since the coyote float was then disqualified, the trophy went to Joe.  You may all remember my sister Wanita June predicted the coyote float would take top honors this year.  Shows what she knows.  Though you didn’t hear that from me.

Of course, the end of the parade brings the man of the hour, the person that all the kiddies shout for that signifies the beginning of the Christmas Season – Wilson the janitor from the Elementary School and his buckets of Candy Canes!  I was able to actually catch one this year before it hit the pavement and shattered.   It was delicious!

After the parade, we all went to Possum Disco Night at the Bowlarama and bowled the night away.  Good job Puddlegulch and happy Thanksgiving!

Author: David Wilson-Burns

I like to write. I have a job. This is a flash bio.

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