Submitted by High Priestess Willow Wolfclaw who is not a professional writer and who does not work for The Puddlegulch Post (Are you happy Jolene?)
Merry Meet, People of Puddlegulch!
As the Winter Solstice approaches, The Circle of the Blood Moon coven prepares for its annual Circle of the Blood Moon Winter Solstice Festival and Clothes Drive. There will be games and merriment for the children of Puddlegulch. They can cut mistletoe from the oak trees as the ancient Druids did and get chased by our own Puddlegulch Krampus. Don’t let him catch them or they’ll be spanked, sacked, and dragged back to his woodland lair! All for a good cause, of course.
You are invited to join the candle ritual and meditation on the Crone, a symbol of life, death, and rebirth to welcome the lengthening of days. Clothing optional. There will be plenty of fire to keep your earthly flesh warm.
This is a great time of year to clean house so get out your brooms and homemade vinegar cleaner! Remove the clutter and dust from the dying year. If you don’t want to throw away your unwanted clothes, bring them to us. We will bless them with the four elements and a candle ritual and give them to the Goodwill in Clarke’s Mill.
At our festival, sage wands can be purchased to smudge your house against evil spirits and negative energy. We can offer a special incantation to invite The Spirit of the Christmas Possum to protect you from falls. All proceeds will go to help those with UFA (Unfortunate Spellation Anxiety.)
Our most popular event will begin at dusk. The “manicure” tent will be set up beneath a starlit sky. Let us care for your nails and cuticles. This is not a palm reading! It will be in full compliance with Puddlegulch statute 45.3 against soothsaying, but if we should happen to glimpse your palm, that’s between you, me, and the Crone!
Afterward, when we have all once more donned our gay apparel, you are invited to join us for a community potluck at the Puddlegultch Recreational center. Vegan suckling pig and wild grape wine will be provided and there’ll be plenty of Yule Log to go around!
High Priestess Willow Wolfclaw