Mysterious stranger spotted again!

Gordan Geary, Editor in Chief – At 11:55 pm last night, a local teen was fooling around with the filters on her telephone camera and snapped this image in the alley behind the Bowlarama.  [Note from writer: My pencil broke before I was about to speak to her, but I believe I understand millennials well enough to remember it just as it was relayed to me.]

“I was like looking at my phone as I walked or whatever,” said 16-year-old Chloe Crumbpacker, granddaughter of local property mogal Horace P. Crumbpacker, “getting ready to test the black and white filter of my telephone for my new, old-looking picture on Instant gram, and when I looked up to take the shot, he was like right there.  I thought he might say something to make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe, but he didn’t say anything.  He just kept smoking his boomer Jewel cigarette thingy. I took the shot and ran back to my antique bicycle before he could #meetoo me.  I was so scared.  I didn’t post the picture until I was like 2 blocks away.”

There is some speculation that this could be the same man in this security cam photo captured outside of Dale’s Discount General, but it cannot be confirmed.

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When asked why she was in the alley so late, Chloe said, “Puddlegulch is becoming a really unsafe place and I wanted to give the boomers some proof.”

Any tips leading to the discovery of this man’s identify or purpose for being in Puddlegulch will be rewarded with a full set of phillips head screwdrivers from Dale’s Discount General, because those things have a way of disappearing leaving only a box full of flat heads; at least in this reporter’s house.  (and The Puddlegulch Post will throw in a pair of cow-hide work gloves to anyone who can explain why a 16-year-old would rather ride a bike in 37 degree weather at night than get their driver’s license.  I was in line at the DMV before it even opened on my 16th birthday)

Author: davidwburns

I like to write. I have a job. This is a flash bio.

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