Feltcher Brother Makes Meaty Statement

Jack Studebaker, reporter – Floyd Feltcher, proprietor of Feltcher’s Butcher Shop on Main Street, made a statement Friday in response to repeated queries concerning the dramatic presentation from his brother Bob Feltcher and his subsequent arrest last week during a Town council meeting.  Floyd Feltcher, a lifelong resident of Puddlegulch in good standing with the community at large, made the statement behind his counter while wrapping a pork loin for Edna Mersaphat, a regular customer of the shop.

“Every family’s got one,” Feltcher said in reference to his younger brother. “But I don’t want people to think the rest of the Feltcher family condones this kind of behavior.”

Feltcher posted bail in the amount of $500 in behalf of his younger sibling who was charged with drunk and disorderly conduct, indecent exposure and disturbing the peace after exposing his posterior to those assembled at last week’s town council meeting.  Bob Feltcher has kept a low profile since then.  Calls to his residence have gone unanswered and he has not been seen directing traffic as he usually does at the corner of Possum Hollow and Main.

A court date has not been determined as of this writing since clerk Sarah Mendelbright was unavailable at the courthouse due to family obligations.

Feltcher has been questioned by customers (and this reporter) repeatedly concerning his brother since the incident.  He has vehemently denied that any of it was a publicity stunt to drum up business for the butcher shop. He reluctantly announced that the statement was forthcoming early Monday morning and that it would be his last word on the subject.  The shop was full of customers (and this reporter) when he finally addressed those assembled.

Feltcher concluded his statement after weighing a pound of ground meat for Rosemary Jenkins.  “I want everyone in town to know that Feltcher’s will always provide the best cuts of meat in the county at the best price!  And in that spirit I want to announce a sale on rump roast for the rest of the week!”

Author: davidwburns

I like to write. I have a job. This is a flash bio.

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