Letter from PJ Portormont

Dear Puddlegulch Post Editor,

There comes a time when a man has got to stand up for what he believes in and that moment was when Elsie Hightower’s brown betty was used for ill-gotten gains with our dear Mayor Townsend.  That’s right ILL-GOTTEN GAINS.

When I was taking my morning walk down Possum Hollow Road toward town I passed by Elsie’s house and I could smell her betty.  At first, I thought, Well then, what a nice day for Miss Elsie’s betty, but I saw something unusual.  I saw Gregory Fiddlestone carrying it out to his shiny Lincoln with a pair of his wife’s gingham oven mitts.  

I knew exactly where he was going.  He’s been wanting that stop sign up ever since he was dumb enough not to yield to Danny Weedlemeyer’s pickup on Possum Hollow and Main.  And we all know what will happen when he gets it. Traffic is going to pool there. 10-15 cars drive through that intersection just at lunch.  Can you imagine what it’s going to do to our traffic flow in the morning and afternoon rush hours?

I followed him right up the street and seen him walk into city hall.  He came out in ten minutes with the mitts tucked under his arm and the next day he had his stop sign.

This was struck down at the last city council meeting.  This was settled law! We are in a constitutional crisis here!

That story needs to be running on your front page, Gordon!  People need to know that WE WILL NOT tolerate corruption in the mayor’s office anymore.

PJ Portermont, Citizen and Driver

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